I work with an executive who is making six figures and supporting her family as a single mother, and has a value around stability, but she hates her job but really believes that she can’t leave it because of her family. Her perception is that she cannot make a VP salary at any other company. This is what she says stands in in her way of moving into fulfilling work.
Is this true? She asks… No, in watching the labor market and knowing her skills, education and background. My career coach instinct says this is not true. But we agree it is her limiting belief.
Of course, people who live in glass houses….
I also have limiting beliefs. I have wrestled constantly with my beliefs around being a working mother. I have limiting beliefs about my freedom being self-employed vs working inside a company.
Limiting beliefs are those which constrain us in some way. Just by believing them, we do not think, do or say the things that they inhibit.
We may have beliefs about rights, duties, abilities, permissions and so on. Limiting beliefs are often about ourselves and our self-identity. The beliefs may also be about other people and the world in general.
In any case, they sadly limit us.
Let’s look at eliminating beliefs and fear. Here are some simple steps:
1. Normalize your fear. Everyone has gremlins, inner critics and limiting beliefs. We all have them. This is what they sound like. These are the kinds of things they say to you. They say ‘you’re never going to get a job this good’ or ‘at your age, who’s going to hire you’. Or you can never make that kind of money doing xyz.
2. Shine a light on the critic, the limiting belief. When we shine a light on our particular variety of those critics and exactly what they’re saying to us we have some power around them and we have some choice around them. She could decide to stay at that job and that’s an absolutely okay choice, but choosing to stay and honoring her value of stability above all else is now a choice because she’s shined a light on the limiting belief and she’s named it and there’s power in that. She can powerfully choose that for herself and her family.
3. Learn how to quiet the gremlin. How do we move past them or around them? How do we work with them? I don’t think you get rid of them. They tend to diffuse when they get a little air time.
FIELD WORK: FIELD WORK: What your signature inner critic sound? What is the belief that you’re holding? How do you know if that’s true? Wanna chat it through? Give me a call.