The Ripple Effect: How Avoiding Tough Conversation Spreads Through Your Team
Let’s continue our story from last week. If you didn’t read that first post, you can find it HERE. We know avoiding tough conversations isn’t the best solution and the avoidance always tends to backfire on you, the leader.
But what does it mean for your team when you avoid the tough stuff? What impact do they experience?
Your High Performers Get Frustrated and Start Planning Their Exit
Sarah was one of those employees every manager dreams of—proactive, skilled, always delivering great work. But when I sat down with her for an exit interview, she said something that honestly broke my heart:
"I never actually knew if I was doing good work or not. I kept waiting for feedback on how to grow, but it never came. I figured if my manager wasn't invested in my development, maybe this wasn't the right place for me."
Here's what happens to your star performers when feedback is absent:
They assume their growth doesn't matter to you
They start looking elsewhere for mentorship and development
They interpret silence as indifference toward their career
They lose motivation because they're not being challenged
They eventually leave for opportunities that offer clearer growth paths
The real cost: Replacing a high performer typically costs 50-200% of their annual salary, plus the months of lost productivity while you scramble to find and train someone new.
Your Underperformers Stay Stuck in Patterns That Hurt Everyone
Take Jake. He's been missing deadlines for three months, but his manager keeps hoping things will just... work themselves out. "He's been going through a rough patch," she explained to me. "I don't want to pile on when he's already struggling."
I understand the impulse to be compassionate. But here's what's actually happening: Jake has no idea his performance is creating problems. He thinks everything is fine. Meanwhile, his teammates are quietly picking up his slack and starting to resent both Jake and their manager for letting it slide.
The progression of avoided performance conversations:
Month 1: Small issue emerges (think: missed deadline, unclear communication)
Month 2: Issue repeats; manager notices but doesn't address it
Month 3: Pattern is established; team starts compensating
Month 6: Problem becomes "just how Jake is;" team morale drops
Month 12: Formal disciplinary action required; everyone is frustrated
What could have been a 10-minute course correction becomes a months-long performance improvement plan that's stressful for everyone involved.
Your Solid Contributors Lose Motivation and Plateau
These are the people who make up 70% of most teams. They show up, do good work, and keep things running smoothly. But they're also the ones leaders most often overlook when it comes to feedback and development.
What solid contributors tell me in confidence:
"I assume I'm doing okay because no one's complained."
"I'd love to take on more responsibility, but I'm not sure what my manager thinks I'm ready for."
"Sometimes I wonder if anyone notices the extra effort I put in."
"I feel stuck but don't know how to grow from here."
The hidden cost: These employees either become disengaged (“quiet quitting”) or start looking for roles where their growth is more actively supported.
You Lose Sleep and Mental Energy
Let's talk about the personal toll on you as a leader. Every conversation you avoid doesn't just disappear—it takes up residence in your brain.
The mental load of avoidance:
You overthink every interaction with that team member
You lie awake at night planning conversations you never have
You feel guilty about problems you're not addressing
You second-guess your leadership abilities
You spend more energy worrying than the conversation would actually take
One client put it perfectly: "I spent more time thinking about having that conversation than it would have taken to actually have it twenty times over."
Your Team Loses Trust in Your Leadership
Here's something your team knows but will probably never tell you directly: everyone can sense the conversations that aren't happening.
They notice when someone consistently drops the ball without any apparent consequences. They see when good work goes completely unrecognized. They watch issues get swept under the rug instead of addressed head-on.
What this does to team dynamics:
High performers wonder if standards actually matter
Struggling employees don't get the support they need
Everyone starts operating based on assumptions instead of clarity
Team culture becomes defined by what's tolerated, not what's expected
People stop bringing problems to you because they assume you won't address them
The trust thing happens gradually, then all at once. One day you wake up and realize your team has stopped bringing problems to you, stopped suggesting improvements, and stopped taking real initiative. They've learned that difficult topics are basically off-limits in your working relationship.
So, let’s change that. Today.
My Performance Conversation Toolkit gives you everything you need to tackle these tough discussions with confidence.
Don’t forget that you'll get:
5 research-backed principles that transform how performance conversations feel
Situation-specific scripts for different types of team members
A complete prep checklist so you never have to wing it again
Real examples of what these conversations look like in practice
Download the free toolkit below and finally have the conversations your team has been waiting for.